Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
