i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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