Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
