I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
