god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
