..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
