just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
