i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There's always time for handjobs
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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