i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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