direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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