): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
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At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
wow bdsm is so cute
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