I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i dont even know how to be here
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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