Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
