last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
