pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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