Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm bleeding and have questions
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