what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
