I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
