Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
