Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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