im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
