There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think i have two assholes
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
