What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
