she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I have post one night stand depression
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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