that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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