I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
