I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
