Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
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But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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