I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
her facebook's as public as her vagina
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
