there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
