So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
