You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Couch. On fire.
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