I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
so much tequila, so little girl.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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