Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
