i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
