I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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