I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
