I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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