I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
