Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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