I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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