if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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