Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
