My cat gives me a boner
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
