yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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