Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
