we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
