You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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