Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
