Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
