Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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