Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
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We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
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My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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