My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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