do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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