Please, let me fuck your mom
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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