fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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