His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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