They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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