I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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