McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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