just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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