My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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