just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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