I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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