Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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